it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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