i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i think i just lost a toe
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
