Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
if only i could text you this smell
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
