I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize