problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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