That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
