ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize