I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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