Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
