Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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