She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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