we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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