with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
