I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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