but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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