naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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