Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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