why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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