girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
