She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
