No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
