is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
