i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
