Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
