so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
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Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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