i already hear my dad disowning me
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Houston, we have a blender
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
