the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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