I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
