the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
