I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
