NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
