the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
