WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
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