some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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