Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
