On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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