Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
