First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
