I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The air was thick with penises
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
