This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize