this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
