I hate all girls vehemently.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
