Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
