At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
