What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
