careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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