I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
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