I want you more than these girls want KFC
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
