goodnight i made you a song goodbye
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize