There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
