I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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