New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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