you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
