C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
