I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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