His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
