I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
