we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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