your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
