he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
