So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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